I am really tired of getting things wrong, of feeling ashamed of myself.
I didn’t speak when I should have spoken because I was afraid of someone’s opinion of me.
I spoke sarcastically to my husband in front of several friends.
I chose to read story books rather than to spend time with God.
I yelled at my babies. While we were praying!
I often have a really hard time loving myself. I feel frustrated with my inability to obey, to love, to be perfect. I often have a very low opinion of myself.
I am fairly certain that I am not the only one who feels like this.
I want to share a truth that was recently spoken to me: Your opinion of yourself doesn’t matter.
Does that sound hard? It is true.
I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself…it is the Lord who judges me. ~ I Corinthians 4.3
It doesn’t matter what you think of yourself, whether or not you approve of yourself. Only God’s opinion of you matters.
That’s worth saying again.
The only thing that matters is whether or not God approves of you.
This then is…how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts and He knows everything. ~ I John 3.19-20
And the best news of all? The news that fills up my heart and gives me peace?
If you are in Christ, God does approve of you!
Just read Romans 8:
vs 1: Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…
vs 33: Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? (Yes, this includes bringing charges against yourself!) It is God who justifies.
vs 38-39: For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (italics mine)
When I am playing a difficult piece on the piano, sometimes I play the wrong notes. When that happens, rather than getting upset, making horrid faces and just quitting, my mother taught me to simply improvise the wrong notes into the next bit of music. These wrong notes are then given a new name: passing notes – notes that don’t really fit but can become fitting.
For me, one of the most breathtaking things about being a Christian is that God can take our worst mistakes and turn them into His passing notes. That’s what God is promising to do for us in the end, and it can start now. And if you haven’t heard that before, it’s time you did. ~ Jeremy Begbie
So. Take a deep breath. Quit thinking about yourself and your mistakes.
Trust God’s approval of you in Christ. Allow Him to turn those mistakes into His beautiful passing notes that lead us to become who God intended for us to be.