What do you do when you don’t get your way?
My eldest screams with a red hot rage and sobs tears of hurt and disappointment.
As much as I would like to hold my head up high and speak with condescension about the ways of a child, I can’t. Instead, I will bow my head with shame and confess that, even if I don’t do it out loud or in front of people, I have much the same reaction in my deepest places.
I received another “no” from God this week.
It really hurt. Yet another of my well-laid plans was swept away with the dust of a hope.
I do gain deep peace and joy from knowing beyond a doubt that the only reason that God said “no” was because that wasn’t what was best.
And, just as I wrote recently, my heart still grieves.
There is a piece of me, that child that can’t seem to grow up, that wants to shout and rage and stamp its foot and demand a “yes” from God.
The desire, the temptation, is not wrong. As I often tell my eldest, the feeling is not wrong, but what you choose to do can be either wise or foolish.
So what did I choose to do?
This time (I wish that I could say “every time”) I chose what was wise.
With tears, I praised God.
I thanked Him for telling me “no” because I trust that it was best, that it was done out of love.
Then I went to church and worshiped.