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Why in the world, why in this crazy, messed up world, is it so hard to trust in God?

He has never failed me, He has never let me down, so why is this trusting business so difficult?

Years ago when Daniel and I returned to the States from a year of mission work in China, we had trouble finding jobs.

We waited for months, watching our hard-earned savings dwindle away, wondering why God didn’t step in to help us. After all, hadn’t we just returned from spending a year serving Him? Shouldn’t He take care of us in return?

Looking back, He was caring for us all the time. He gave us family and friends to support us by giving us places to live, recommendations for jobs, and extra money that I know they could have also used.

And we eventually did find jobs. Good ones. We didn’t starve. We didn’t end up on the street. We were able to build our savings back up.

We’ve recently been hit with a series of very expensive home and car repairs and replacements, along with several doctor bills.

And I worry. I worry a lot.

Which is ridiculous.

Do I really think that God can take care of three repairs but not four?

Do I really believe that God can sustain us through home repairs but not our doctor bills?

I feel a lot these days like Israel.

God, I know that you just parted the Red Sea and all, but feeding us in the desert is clearly too much for You.

Lord, I’m grateful for the manna and quail, but giving us water from a rock? I’m just not sure you can handle that.

I know I’m being absurd when I worry. I look around at the birds of the air and the lilies of the field and still wonder if God can feed and clothe me and my children.

O ye of little faith.

He speaks to me when He says that.

So I take a deep breath and breathe out a plea to help me trust Him.

And then?

Then I set my heart on Him and seek after Him and His kingdom,

and know (at least for this one moment!) that all those things will be given to me as well.

Therefore do not be anxious, saying “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?” For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Art credit: He led them by a pillar of cloud by Providence Lithograph Company (1896-1913); all other photographs copyright Made Sacred 2017